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04 - 4/2/21

Any astute intellectuals out there may have noticed the date of the previous post. Fortunately for all my attentive readers (the 0 of them I seem to have found), I will not be retiring this blog after only three days worth of posts. Yesterday was April 1st, and despite my lack of a surprise for either of my parents, which I often do, this year my prank was demoted to this small corner of the internet. If anybody is confused, just read 03.

But today I want to resume the subject of leading a meaningful life. Last time I discussed it, in 02, I only really talked about leading a meaningful extracurricular life for college. But I think that there is a deeper undertone which can be taken away from that message. Essentially, before, I talked about how one should always be true to themselves, for in following ones interests one is the happiest, and most productive, that they can be.

So put frankly, follow your heart. There are many things which I enjoy--sports, writing, reading, schoolwork, just learning in general, and much more--and there are things which I have forced myself to continue, and there are things which I do where I have fun but feel unproductive, but everyone is different in that way. I am not content watching television and playing video games all day, as I assume most people are, but those people who do feel content to spend their free time being active consumers of media, I commend you. There would be no television industry if people were not interested in watching television, just as there would be no academia if people decided that learning was unnecessary.

I love reading books, but finding time to read has always been a struggle for me. When I flop onto a couch before dinner having finished all my work, I am drawn to the flashing lights of YouTube, of Netflix, of TikTok, long before a book calls out to me. But that was not always the case. I remember, and revere, the days when I could spend long hours sitting in the sun reading, where a whole book would disappear alongside a bag of chips and a milkshake. And I know that I could easily return to that, as I have, just by reading easier books; there is an allure of Young Adult Fiction which makes it much easier to read than Melville.

But I do not, because I cannot. I do not feel content sitting passively on my computer; I do not feel content reading and rereading the same canon of child literature; I feel content challenging myself. This is where I draw my meaning from--challenge. It is no coincidence that the classes which I love the most in school are both the ones which cover a ridiculous amount of material and the ones which make me work harder than any else. I am content when I am working myself to death, for better or for worse.

And so living a meaningful life is not something easy for me, as it may be for other people. But listen to your heart, not just what society is telling you all the time.

Just as I encourage you to experiment with what makes you feel good, and by extension what makes you lead a meaningful life, I too must work on mine. I have a long way to go before the challenge of hard literature is something I welcome always with open arms, but it is a journey I now know I need to set upon. I hope what I have said here is helpful in any way to those undergoing some existential problems like myself, and I will see you all tomorrow.

Good hunting.

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